Saturday, 10 November 2012

Animal kingdom is a REJECT: twisted tales from darkest florida

if you like animal kingdom, chances are you don't do alot of this
Don't give it drugs. It WILL devour your eyeballs. Adorably.




         Today I went to animal kingdom. Meh. I've never liked it that much. I mean, animal kingdom has always seemed like a reject to me. The one who sits alone all the time at lunch. If you tried to point it out in a crowd, you'd be wrong. It's the other guy. It's like the neglected middle child. It's not that smart or talented or anything. Now, I know some of you are like "but Asylum, I love animal kingdom." And you're allowed to. But you're probably lame. You're old, or you have some sort of condition like rabies or whatever that doesn't allow you to do things, like, be awesome. Yes, it has mount Everest, which I love, but other than that, there isn't a whole lot to do. It seems like it should just be a section of Magic kingdom. And besides, what's with that safari thing, trying to to convince us we're in Africa. We aren't. We're in Florida. And what's with that fake poacher thing? Seriously, that was dumb. The monkeys were cute, though.  So that's alright.

IT'S THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN
      I'm staying in this eerie gated community. It's way too quiet here. I'm suspicious of anywhere that's gated and has it's own clubhouse. That's SO first world. What's up with that. Do these people just pop another pill and ignore the real issues and do nothing about it,  because their fake hair colour is fading, or their spray tan washed off. Or their silicone boobs are sagging. Or their uber-expensive car has a dent. *pants* Ok, ok. I'm done. It's safe to come back. BUT THESE PEOPLE BOTHER ME SO MUCH! Ah, I'll save this for a monday rant. Also, it's super quiet here. Like, I see NOBODY. Creepyyyyyyyyyy. I suspect cult activity

     Well, that's it for today my lovelies. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe not. All depends on how tired I am

-Asylum



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