People are stupid. It's a known fact. The top 5 biggest idiots of 2012. Note: It was hard to choose just 5.
5. China.
I'm sorry China. But you did make fools of yourselves this year. No, Canada is not building a highway that allows you to get to Mexico without toughing the U.S.A. No, Kim Jong Un is not the sexiest man alive. Again, it's totally our fault.
4. My classmates.
#stopusinghashtagoutsideoftheinternet. Jesus christ people. Aw I still love (some of) you. But seriously. You guys are morons.
3. Westboro Baptist Church
Oh, so you're going to picket the funerals of children because of the freedoms of america? Allow me to tell the world how horrible you are.
2. Spence Diamonds.
These people make the worst radio commercials ever
You think a guy's going to email us that his girlfriend isn't hot?
Good point!
I swear if I ever meet these two in real life, I will murder them, and burn that place to the ground.
TIE: 2. The American Government.
NO. PUTTING MORE GUNS IN SCHOOLS TO PREVENT GUN VIOLENCE IS STUPID. ALL YOU ARE, ARE A BUNCH OF ANGRY, WHITE, EVANGELICAL STRAIGHT WELL ARMED OLD MEN. SHUT UP, OR I'LL SHOVE YOUR TRUSTY HUNTING REIFLE DOWN YOUR THROAT.
1: Anyone who thought that the world would end yesterday.
hehe you're silly. Especially those of you who wasted money to go to some village in france to get beamed up by aliens. Lol FAIL
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Monday, 17 December 2012
To hell with Westboro (WARNING: SALTY LANGUAGE)
This is a follow up to the "Guns" post I wrote on Saturday. It regarded the recent school shooting in Connecticut. Both of these posts are rants. I would like to offer extra condolences to the families of the victims. Note: I will not be censoring this post, so if you're offended by saucy lingo, go look at puppies or something.
I'm sure you're familiar with the crazy ass bitches known as the Westboro Baptist church. Their activities consist of making the rest of christianity look bad. They're constantly talking about how america is gonna go to hell and homosexuals are bad, yet they hide behind the constitution of a nation they claim to hate. Nobody likes them. For good reason. What do they have to do with the shooting?
Oh I'll tell ya what.
THEY ARE GOING TO PICKET THE FUNERALS OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED IN THE SHOOTING.
What the unholy fuck are these people thinking? Do they not understand WE. DON'T. LIKE. YOU. SHUT. UP. PLEASE. Jesus Mary and Joseph. Now, why? According to them, it was gods "will". God "wanted" those innocent children to die, because of gay people. I swear on the three fold rule of wicca I'm not lying. Holy fucking shit. The whole world has had it up to here with them. If there is a god, he would never want innocent kids to die. Do they even read the bible? Do they not have ears. In my mind, they are themselves an embodyment of evil. All the kids who leave, because, you know they grew brains, are like "Yeah, they're assholes." So, Westboro, I offer you a big old FUCK YOU. I hope the god they pray to is real, just so he can wipe those smug expressions off of their faces when he sends them to hell.
But wait! All hope is not lost!
The kickass members of Anonymous have finally done something about it. What have they done? What they do best, which is fucking things up for those who deserve it. YOU GO ANONYMOUS please don't hack me. They have released the names of ALL members of Westboro. Their contact info, addresses, the whole shmeer. They have a video out attacking the church, and are thinking about taking down westboro's site. Godess I love those guys. And it's not just anon getting all up in their beeswax. People have started a petition to get them officially labeled a hate group. They needed 25,00 signatures. They have over 100,00. GO PEOPLE!
So yeah.
I'm sure you're familiar with the crazy ass bitches known as the Westboro Baptist church. Their activities consist of making the rest of christianity look bad. They're constantly talking about how america is gonna go to hell and homosexuals are bad, yet they hide behind the constitution of a nation they claim to hate. Nobody likes them. For good reason. What do they have to do with the shooting?
Oh I'll tell ya what.
THEY ARE GOING TO PICKET THE FUNERALS OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED IN THE SHOOTING.
What the unholy fuck are these people thinking? Do they not understand WE. DON'T. LIKE. YOU. SHUT. UP. PLEASE. Jesus Mary and Joseph. Now, why? According to them, it was gods "will". God "wanted" those innocent children to die, because of gay people. I swear on the three fold rule of wicca I'm not lying. Holy fucking shit. The whole world has had it up to here with them. If there is a god, he would never want innocent kids to die. Do they even read the bible? Do they not have ears. In my mind, they are themselves an embodyment of evil. All the kids who leave, because, you know they grew brains, are like "Yeah, they're assholes." So, Westboro, I offer you a big old FUCK YOU. I hope the god they pray to is real, just so he can wipe those smug expressions off of their faces when he sends them to hell.
But wait! All hope is not lost!
The kickass members of Anonymous have finally done something about it. What have they done? What they do best, which is fucking things up for those who deserve it. YOU GO ANONYMOUS please don't hack me. They have released the names of ALL members of Westboro. Their contact info, addresses, the whole shmeer. They have a video out attacking the church, and are thinking about taking down westboro's site. Godess I love those guys. And it's not just anon getting all up in their beeswax. People have started a petition to get them officially labeled a hate group. They needed 25,00 signatures. They have over 100,00. GO PEOPLE!
So yeah.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Guns.
Unless you've been in a coma the last little while, you've no doubt heard about the connecticut school shooting that took place recently, killing 26-28 (i read different numbers everywhere). 20 of these where children, as young as five. This event ended more lives than Columbine. This christmas, many families will have their holidays darkened by what happened.
This could have been prevented
it could have been avoided
this didn't have to happen
but it did.
why?
Because people want to own guns. Already, those in favour of the right to bare arms law are dismissing it. Why don't I shoot your baby and see how you like it, huh? God I hate you guys sometimes. In a country where over a thousand people die due to gun violence each year, and that has already had three deadly massacres this year, you'd think these red necks would have woken up to the fact that GUNS ARE DANGEROUS AND PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. In canada, the death toll for guns is around 36 each year. And even lower in some countries. Because we control guns. Sometimes it seems like americans put up a logic barrier around themselves. If a legislation had passed a day before, perhaps this guy would have been captured before he did any damage. Maybe those families would have their kids for the holidays this year. It moved president obama to tears.
The whole reason the right to bare arms thing even exists, was because it was written at a time when the u.s. was a developing country. Due to the custom of the time, having a gun was more a social thing. And because the country was so small, no one ever thought "crazy people exist." In canada, there is no way you're able to just walk into Wal-Mart and buy a gun. Stop saying you have a right to bare arms, crazy redneck republicans.
some suggestions on how to control guns
This could have been prevented
it could have been avoided
this didn't have to happen
but it did.
why?
Because people want to own guns. Already, those in favour of the right to bare arms law are dismissing it. Why don't I shoot your baby and see how you like it, huh? God I hate you guys sometimes. In a country where over a thousand people die due to gun violence each year, and that has already had three deadly massacres this year, you'd think these red necks would have woken up to the fact that GUNS ARE DANGEROUS AND PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. In canada, the death toll for guns is around 36 each year. And even lower in some countries. Because we control guns. Sometimes it seems like americans put up a logic barrier around themselves. If a legislation had passed a day before, perhaps this guy would have been captured before he did any damage. Maybe those families would have their kids for the holidays this year. It moved president obama to tears.
The whole reason the right to bare arms thing even exists, was because it was written at a time when the u.s. was a developing country. Due to the custom of the time, having a gun was more a social thing. And because the country was so small, no one ever thought "crazy people exist." In canada, there is no way you're able to just walk into Wal-Mart and buy a gun. Stop saying you have a right to bare arms, crazy redneck republicans.
some suggestions on how to control guns
- The Gouvernment being responsible for distributing guns
- Make it like adoption, when a person requests a gun, perform psychological examinations, investigate them. If they seem off, reject them
- limit the amount of guns an american can own to 1 per household
- veterans do not get to own guns
- abolish that part of the constitution
- grow a freaking brain
- jail anyone who violates any of these.
Just some ideas.
Monday, 10 December 2012
I don't know what I'm doin right now, but I know I really hate you all.
You know what really grinds my gears, that lindsey lohan. I mean, I'm over here, you're there. What do you want from me?
I don't even know where to start. I'm just pissed off at general things, which you should enjoy.
So there's this guy, I'll call him 817. This is an open letter, to 817.
Dear 817,
you got a problem with me bro? I'm sensing that we, are not clicking. I wish to make this very clear, so that your tiny insignificant brain will be able to comprehend; I don't trust you. I never have. I don't care what best friend#1 and best friend #2 say or think about you. If you do have a problem with me, just @#^&$^ say it already! Enough with the passive aggressive undermining. You tippy nosed wanker.
i needed to say that
it hurt
Annnnnyways, best friend #2 has this thing. It's called a girl cloud. And boy do they grind my gears. They don't give him any breathing room, and he completely ignores me and best friend #1 while in their company. To sum them up (and adress them at the same time, heyo!), I say this. Ladies, Santa's seen your Facebook posts. You're getting clothes and a dictionary for christmas. Oh, and instagram only works if you don't look good in high definition. Slutty hoe bags.
seriously folks. KILL YOURSELVES
I don't even know where to start. I'm just pissed off at general things, which you should enjoy.
So there's this guy, I'll call him 817. This is an open letter, to 817.
Dear 817,
you got a problem with me bro? I'm sensing that we, are not clicking. I wish to make this very clear, so that your tiny insignificant brain will be able to comprehend; I don't trust you. I never have. I don't care what best friend#1 and best friend #2 say or think about you. If you do have a problem with me, just @#^&$^ say it already! Enough with the passive aggressive undermining. You tippy nosed wanker.
i needed to say that
it hurt
Annnnnyways, best friend #2 has this thing. It's called a girl cloud. And boy do they grind my gears. They don't give him any breathing room, and he completely ignores me and best friend #1 while in their company. To sum them up (and adress them at the same time, heyo!), I say this. Ladies, Santa's seen your Facebook posts. You're getting clothes and a dictionary for christmas. Oh, and instagram only works if you don't look good in high definition. Slutty hoe bags.
seriously folks. KILL YOURSELVES
Monday, 3 December 2012
@$%^#@ DECORATIVE RADISHES!
As a proud feminist, stay at home moms piss me off. Do I really have to go into detail about this? I do. Aww come on! Shouldn't it be obvious. Ok, since this is rant day, I guess I should fill you in about it a little more. Don't get me wrong, I know a few stay at home moms, ok 1 stay at home mom, and she rocks. The others? Yeah, no.
They pose a huge threat to the economy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these suburban barbie sluts are taking a huge risk finically, if they break up with their husbands. With no source of income, where will these parasites go for money? Welfare. They have no means of income, except taxpayer dollars. I'm not paying to keep some (expletive) afloat who won't freaking work. You know, some women don't have a choice. Not many women have that choice and are forced to either work or stay home. I say cut em' off. They CHOSE not to work, that's not a choice most can make. Let them live with the consequences of their choice. Oh yeah, and how much money was wasted on giving these good for nothing Stepford wives a college education. They aren't even using that! What was that Ph.D for again ladies? Carving decorative radishes for the PTO meeting. Right.
Do the efforts of the suffragettes mean absolutely nothing to these people? They're an absolute insult to every woman who fought to get them in the workplace! And what's worse, they bubble wrap themselves from the outside world. I don't trust anyone to raise the future that doesn't know how many somali children die every day due to starvation, illness, or other causes. Willful ignorance to the outside world does not a good mom make.
What kind of example are these people setting for their daughters? They should be out there WORKING, showing your little girl you can still work at a CNN newsroom and be a good mother. Also, over parenting hurts kids, not helps them. "People without kids just don't get it" is something I'm sick of hearing. SHUT UP ERMAHGERD! Plus your husband finds you less attractive now. Its a fact. They have no sense of self, they pour everything into their kids. And then when their kids leave em, we all suffer.
Also, they're breast feeding nazis. I'll see them pestering some poor working mom about breastfeeding and being free and blah blah blah. They keep asking how other women how they use and view their own breasts. If you see this happening to some poor woman with 5 or 6 kids, working 3 different jobs, getting pestered by these women, you know what you do. Slap that stay at home mom right in the botox injected cheeks and say "You know what, her breasts are her breasts, and those babies are her babies. Lay off". Back to the whole breatfeeding is free thing. They also go on the same way about cloth diapers. At the risk of having bags of breast milk and cloth diapers pelted at my door, they aren't free. It's only free if you don't put value on a woman's time. Lay. The frik. Off.
And now, a six-word message to stay at home mothers. Suburban, uppermiddle class ones.
GET A JOB, LAZY WHITE B****ES!
They pose a huge threat to the economy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these suburban barbie sluts are taking a huge risk finically, if they break up with their husbands. With no source of income, where will these parasites go for money? Welfare. They have no means of income, except taxpayer dollars. I'm not paying to keep some (expletive) afloat who won't freaking work. You know, some women don't have a choice. Not many women have that choice and are forced to either work or stay home. I say cut em' off. They CHOSE not to work, that's not a choice most can make. Let them live with the consequences of their choice. Oh yeah, and how much money was wasted on giving these good for nothing Stepford wives a college education. They aren't even using that! What was that Ph.D for again ladies? Carving decorative radishes for the PTO meeting. Right.
Do the efforts of the suffragettes mean absolutely nothing to these people? They're an absolute insult to every woman who fought to get them in the workplace! And what's worse, they bubble wrap themselves from the outside world. I don't trust anyone to raise the future that doesn't know how many somali children die every day due to starvation, illness, or other causes. Willful ignorance to the outside world does not a good mom make.
What kind of example are these people setting for their daughters? They should be out there WORKING, showing your little girl you can still work at a CNN newsroom and be a good mother. Also, over parenting hurts kids, not helps them. "People without kids just don't get it" is something I'm sick of hearing. SHUT UP ERMAHGERD! Plus your husband finds you less attractive now. Its a fact. They have no sense of self, they pour everything into their kids. And then when their kids leave em, we all suffer.
Also, they're breast feeding nazis. I'll see them pestering some poor working mom about breastfeeding and being free and blah blah blah. They keep asking how other women how they use and view their own breasts. If you see this happening to some poor woman with 5 or 6 kids, working 3 different jobs, getting pestered by these women, you know what you do. Slap that stay at home mom right in the botox injected cheeks and say "You know what, her breasts are her breasts, and those babies are her babies. Lay off". Back to the whole breatfeeding is free thing. They also go on the same way about cloth diapers. At the risk of having bags of breast milk and cloth diapers pelted at my door, they aren't free. It's only free if you don't put value on a woman's time. Lay. The frik. Off.
And now, a six-word message to stay at home mothers. Suburban, uppermiddle class ones.
GET A JOB, LAZY WHITE B****ES!
Monday, 26 November 2012
Stop over glorifying the dead.
This rant will be a bit shorter than most I've posted, but don't worry. I'm still mad.
You know what really grinds my gears? At every funeral, they go on and on about how the deceased was "an inspiration to us all, a light in our lives, apparently devoid of any wrong doing, oh how we admire them so blah blah blah"
Seriously?
This happens every single time!!! I just want to stand up and say "Actually mr. Preacher man, he was kind of a dick. Can I leave now? It's stuffy in here." I don't care what people might say. I get it. He's dead. Big fricken whoop. You can't disrespect someone who's dead. You know who else is dead? Hitler, Jesus, Mohammed, that guy who invented mormons, Micheal Jackson, and countless others that we all mock or disrespect daily. I don't see anyone getting mad when someone points out hitler's flaws. "Oh you can't say that! That's disrespectful to the dead." "Dude, he killed over six million people."People hate on Religious figureheads constantly. Just treat them like fricken human beings!!! They weren't saints. And if this whole thing is just a desperate attempt to get them into heaven, just know that there's no way in hell that'll work. Aunt Gertrude was a known satanist!!
Geez
You know what really grinds my gears? At every funeral, they go on and on about how the deceased was "an inspiration to us all, a light in our lives, apparently devoid of any wrong doing, oh how we admire them so blah blah blah"
Seriously?
This happens every single time!!! I just want to stand up and say "Actually mr. Preacher man, he was kind of a dick. Can I leave now? It's stuffy in here." I don't care what people might say. I get it. He's dead. Big fricken whoop. You can't disrespect someone who's dead. You know who else is dead? Hitler, Jesus, Mohammed, that guy who invented mormons, Micheal Jackson, and countless others that we all mock or disrespect daily. I don't see anyone getting mad when someone points out hitler's flaws. "Oh you can't say that! That's disrespectful to the dead." "Dude, he killed over six million people."People hate on Religious figureheads constantly. Just treat them like fricken human beings!!! They weren't saints. And if this whole thing is just a desperate attempt to get them into heaven, just know that there's no way in hell that'll work. Aunt Gertrude was a known satanist!!
Geez
Monday, 12 November 2012
I don't know what I'm doin now, but I know I really hate you all:Old people
It has come to my attention, that recently, and increasingly so, the "Older generation" has been talking about how "kids these days suck." I'm paraphrasing by the way, as I don't remember the exact phrase. This is because I have an attention span of about 0. I"m surprised I even made it through that sentence. Old people (and by "old", I mean 35+) are constantly going on about how "Teens these days are always on their cell phones" and stuff like that. They have an air of annoying superiority about the whole thing. This bothers me for many reasons, which I have compacted down into 2 for your reading convenience!
1. The older generation INVENTED THESE THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's your own fault your kids are always on devices. Steve Jobs created apple, Bill Gates P.C. These men are both members of the offending age group. Take responsibility. For the love of god.
2. Your generation created US. We, the children of the future, are the the results of your sweat, blood (and other bodily fluids), and hard work coming together. Ergo, everything we do is your fault.:)
If some crotchety old man ever says to you "In my day, kids didn't INSERT MODERN FREEDOM HERE",you know what you do? Flip that d-bag the bird and say "Yeah, and in your day it was legal to own slaves, and see how that worked out?" And walk away. Seriously, i'm gonna personally throw all of you idiots in a home! A crappy one! You're the ones who messed up the world to begin with. Own up to it!
Geez
1. The older generation INVENTED THESE THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's your own fault your kids are always on devices. Steve Jobs created apple, Bill Gates P.C. These men are both members of the offending age group. Take responsibility. For the love of god.
2. Your generation created US. We, the children of the future, are the the results of your sweat, blood (and other bodily fluids), and hard work coming together. Ergo, everything we do is your fault.:)
If some crotchety old man ever says to you "In my day, kids didn't INSERT MODERN FREEDOM HERE",you know what you do? Flip that d-bag the bird and say "Yeah, and in your day it was legal to own slaves, and see how that worked out?" And walk away. Seriously, i'm gonna personally throw all of you idiots in a home! A crappy one! You're the ones who messed up the world to begin with. Own up to it!
Geez
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