Love day: Cartoon theories

I am a total nerd.  You already knew that.   And, I like cartoons. Recently, it has been brought to my attention, that people have started attaching very dark meanings and undertones to popular cartoons. This phenomenon is especially prevalent on the website Creepypasta.   Though a lot of people complain about them, I like them.  I am not a model of sanity, so it's probably best not to follow in my footsteps on the matter.  In the spirit of ruining your childhood, here are some of my favourite cartoon theories:


exhibit A: Ed, Edd n Eddy

premise: Three boys with similar names play around with the other children in their cul-du-sac.  Most of their tomfoolery is centred around the aquisition of jawbreakers.

theory: Purgatory.

Add a moustache to his finger, and ed becomes a hipster

notes: The whole dead children idea is extremely popular among cartoon theorists. For every show with a similar idea, this theory always appears. The backstory to this, is that all of the kids are spirits, and that the cul du sac is purgatory. The kanker (canker?) sisters are the children of demons from hell, sent to torture the lost souls.






exhibit b: Spongebob Squarepants

premise: A yellow sea sponge goes around having misadventures and working in a fast food restaurant.

theory: Nuclear bomb

Notes: There are multiple theories surrounding this show. I have chosen one actually coined by the creator. The theory is that Spongebob and his friends were normal sea creatures who were actually mutated by the nuclear tests at bikini atol.  Hence the town being called Binkini Bottom. Rather than being spawned from the minds of paranoid internet fanatics, Stephen Hillenburg (creator of spongebob) is the one who came up with this theory. Seems legit.  As for Sandy, no one can really explain a squirrel from texas who is a scientist and karate master living underwater.



exhibit c: Rugrats

premise: babies fool around and eat dirt

theory: angelica is really messed up

Horrified? I sure am.

notes: This is the product of some really messed up folks. This theory in a nutshell is basically a big clusterf***.  According to this theory, angelica is a bipolar schizo crackbaby. Her doll Cynthia, was her real mom. The woman portrayed as her mom is a gold digging hoe.  All of the babies are dead and are hallucinations brought on by Angelica's mental state, with the exception of Dil. Dil was real, and because she couldn't tell the difference between him and the others, Angelica became frustrated.  He didn't obey her like her hallucinations, so she beat him, deforming his head. At age 13, Angelica became addicted to drugs and commited suicide. Suzie, her only childhood friend, became a psychologist, and helped develop the show.

Sure, they are outrageous. But, you have to admit, they're interesting


these shows are the properties of their respective networks and creators. Please don't sue me, I don't have a lot of money